Maria Desiderio – Part of the Lesbian Tide – Out and Proud in 1978
When, Where and How did Laura Nyro first meet her eventual life partner, Maria Desiderio?
The purpose of this talk page is to stimulate a discussion that might lead to ascertaining when, where, and how these two women first met.
In 2002, Michele Kort authored the biography of Laura Nyro, Soul Picnic. Kort quotes Wendy Werris’ claims that in the early 1980’s, Zoe Ananda, Maria’s former life partner, told Werris “Oh, Maria moved to Connecticut to live with Laura Nyro.” ibid p. 196.
But this fails to answer the questions of when, where and how the initial meeting occurred. In fact, Kort answers the how question this way. “None of Nyro’s close friends are certain how she met Maria Antonia Desiderio.” ibid p. 196.
According to Zoe Ann “Ananda” Nicholson, Maria’s ex, the following is true. Maria and Zoe first met in 1970. Zoe claimed that even back then, Maria was already obsessed with Laura Nyro. Zoe and Maria became lovers in 1976. Sometime in 1978, Laura met Zoe and Maria on a fan line at the Roxy in Los Angeles. Much to Zoe’s astonishment, sometime in 1980, Laura showed up in the “Gypsy with dog and child” at Zoe/Maria’s Magic Speller bookstore. Zoe threw Maria out on Labor Day Weekend 1982. Around 1986, Zoe, Laura and Maria reformed a deep friendship until Laura’s death. Zoe is emphatic that all three: Zoe, Laura and Maria were bisexual, but living in and embracing the radical, feminist, lesbian subculture. (see links below &/or) Zoe insists Laura told her, expressly, that “Walk the Dog and Light the Light” was about Maria. Zoe confirmed that Maria liked older women both Laura and Zoe were six to seven years older than Maria. Zoe, “Maria was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. And she loved me! Surprised in love.” ¹
A puzzling quote is Michele Kort’s claim “Those who knew Maria Desiderio say that she was even more private than Laura…” ibid p. 217. This is in contradiction to Maria’s picture published in the Lesbian Tide March/April 1978, Community Focus, p. 27. It shows Maria with her mom, Irene, and Zoe Ananda with her mom. All four women are beaming smiles in what could only be described as a “recruiting poster” for PFLAG. It has always intrigued me as to what prompted this once “out & proud” lesbian back into the closet? In further contrast is the quote accompanying the picture “…Maria…and Zoe…consider themselves the ‘luckiest lesbians alive’ because they have experienced little discrimination regarding their lifestyle…”
http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/lgbt/images/5/54/Maria_D_Lesbian_Tide-1-.pdf
Surprising is this comment, by Michelle Kort, discounting “Emmie” as a lesbian love song. “Emmie” “was a favorite of her mother - hardly the endorsement one would expect for her daughter’s paean to her female lover.” ibid , p. 197. Both Maria’s mom, Irene, and Zoe’s mom were enthusiastic about their daughters’ relationship. They were as “out & proud” as their daughters. They fully supported the creation of the “Majic Speller,” a lesbian owned/ lesbian friendly bookstore. Laura’s dad said of Maria “She was like another daughter, a lovely woman.” ibid, p. 198. Why wouldn’t Laura’s mom have been proud of her daughter’s creation “Emmie,” even as a Sapphic paean?
The naysayers can argue all they want, they can’t get around “Désiree.” Laura’s July 1971, recording was her paean to Maria, perhaps, to mark Maria’s 17th birthday. She titled the song in a unique way, Désiree. Laura recited her beloved’s name, Désiree, 14 times in 1:48 min/sec. Maria’s last name Desiderio means desire; Désiree means desire. Kort mentions in Soul Picnic, that Désiree was stripped down to voice, piano, and vibes with “Nyro smoothly harmonizing with herself.” ibid p. 133. Her treatment of this cover was a personal attribution. Laura insured that this song would be just so. Désiree was her undisguised & open expression of sensual surrender. Laura is singing of her love reverie for another woman.
On the June 5, 2009, Debra J. Wolstein posted this comment on facebook.com, concerning Lauria. “Laura & Maria had to have at least tested the waters in the early 70’s for that song to have manifested in ‘71 as such a personal tribute of love and desire…because of the unmistakably erotic/romantic quality of that song (again, I agree that she re-wrote it as a subtle reference to Maria “Desiderio”) and other songs to follow,” ²
Désiree – link below
http://music.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=music.artistalbums&artistid=1951040&albumid=8098867
If Maria is the inspiration for “Désiree,” is it such a stretch to trace the origin of the flame back to 1967? This is especially true as Laura noted the occasion with her songs “Timer” and “Emmie.” Maria was thirteen; Laura was nineteen. “So let the wind blow Timer…I like her song and if the song goes minor – I won’t mind.” The lyrics “oo who stole Mama’s heart and cuddled in her garden? Darlin’ Emmie, la la la, oo la la la…” are a candid description of female intimacy.
To memorialize: Maria n Laura ‘67 “carved in the heart of a berry tree,” Laura left us her keepsake of Maria. It is on the back cover of the vinyl dust jacket of Eli. In March 1968, Columbia released the thirteen-track vinyl record. Creativity wise, her recently negotiated four album contract with CBS gave her carte blanche. It was not an exaggeration that Laura listed herself on Eli’s back cover as “the writer, composer, voices, piano and witness to the confession.” As such, she would have been free of any inhibition in witnessing the confession in a graphic way. On May 22, 2007, Gregor von Kallahann, in his review of ”Soul Picnic” for Amazon.com reported, “Even as a teenager growing up in a small town in Maine, some of my friends said knowingly… that Laura was ‘gay’ or ‘bisexual’ …How else could you explain that back cover on ELI…?” On August 12, 2007, Michele Kort posted a rave comment on the von Kallahann review.
There are the other explanations of the silhouetted picture being a double exposure and/or a three-quarter angle of a young Laura. Brian Van der Horst, in his April 1968 review of Eli in the New York Free Press, Critique – 4, p. 8, ingeniously, described it as “representing the parting chrysalis of her old life.” Assuming it true, notwithstanding, the back cover is a memento of her then “flame” and eventual life partner, Maria Desiderio.
N.B. Even though the back cover is ostensibly benign, nevertheless, Google considered the Laura Nyro popmatters image/rendering to contain “explicit sexual content”? Google is no longer restricting access to the Laura Nyro popmatters image.
The following link is a copy of the back cover of Eli and the Thirteenth Confession. N.B. The image below is available on GOOGLE in all but the safe mode. .
http://lgbt.wikia.com/wiki/Image:ELI_Silhouetted_back_cover.jpg
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links &/or
Laura living in and embracing the radical, feminist, lesbian subculture. Thanks denknee
N.B. 0:14 thru 0:20
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNWF2AxThy0
“Sappho was a poet, Billie was a real musician.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVtd91jhRcw
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¹ Comment underscoring photograph 1. Zoe & Maria, opposite page 86. The Hungry Heart by Zoe Ann Nicholson.
² http://www.facebook.com/inbox/readmessage.php?t=1121733134580
³ A curious coincidence, with the year of Maria’s birth, is the 1954 movie Désirée which starred Jean Simmons. She played Désirée, the mistress of Napoleon. The movie was based upon the 1951 historical novel by Annemarie Selinko. The book was about Désirée Clary, a mistress of Napoleon, who eventually became Queen Desideria of Sweden. In 1954 et seq., the name Désirée became all the rage.
lesfriendly said,
December 30, 2008 at 6:45 am
cheers to lesbian love and happiness
denknee said,
January 21, 2009 at 5:20 am
“Desiree” is/was an old doo wop song…. probably one that Laura sang in the subway station with the Puerto Rican boys. To assume it is a love song to Maria Desiderio is complete guessing. Please don’t refer to it as fact unless you KNOW that it is fact. From what I’ve gathered, Laura Nyro met Maria at Maria’s bookstore sometime in the 1980s. When exactly, I don’t know. But that is what I have heard thru the grapevine. I am not stating it is fact, it is what I have heard over the years. Unless you have facts that the two met in the 1960s, please don’t post your thoughts as fact.
And I understand (and have assumed true, since it makes perfect sense) that the back photo of Laura and the girl was intended to display Laura kissing her innocence goodbye. A valid artistic statement if ever there was one, what with the title of the album and the lyrical content within.
I would be in the front line to stand up for gay and lesbian rights. To bring up questions for discussion is a good thing. To make assumptions and make statements about those who are no longer with us without any hard facts is not only not fair, but is spreading gossip, not fact.
It is my firm belief that the writer of the above piece should rewrite it as a possibility rather than as a statement of fact, thank you.
rabdrake said,
January 21, 2009 at 7:24 am
Hi Denknee:
Thank you so much for the feed back. I have missed you.
I have tried to substantiate every statement that I have made. I intend to post your comment with this reply.
My main proof is Laura’s personal attribution of Désiree. The Charts’ versions were done as the 1957 original “Deserie” and the 1967 nostalgia remake “Desiree.” Both versions are available on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8L4m3-jbsU – Deserie – hwaj5300
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obEO6qXxo5U – Desiree – mrsradish.
I agree with you, Deserie/Desiree are classic doo-wop. Laura was a walking compendium of doo-wop. She would have been aware of both versions and both spellings. Laura’s treatment of the song is a raw, sultry love ballad. The song is an undisguised statement of love. It is an open expression of same-sex attraction, a Sapphic paean.
In 1954, Marlon Brando, Jean Simmons, Michael Rennie, and Merle Oberon starred in the movie Désirée. It was based upon the historical novel by Annemarie Selinko about Désirée Clary, the mistress of Napoleon. Eventually, she was crowned Queen Desideria of Sweden.
Laura Nyro chose to title her song in a completely unique way Désiree. I am sure you know that Laura recited her beloved’s name, Désiree, 14 times in 1:48 min/sec.
In light of the historical facts, the similarity of names, both Désiree meaning desire and Maria’s last name Desiderio meaning desire, it is too certain to be mere coincidence. Maria was the inspiration for Désiree. Maria was 17; Laura was 23. “So… let the wind blow Timer/I like her song and if the song goes minor I won’t mind.”
Listen to the song; then tell me I’m wrong. (#3 the g2g love song list)
Thanks RAB
hetriepimarne said,
February 21, 2009 at 7:18 pm
Maaaan, you know there is such thing in the web like search engine, http://google.com if you don’t, go there to understand why this post is bleep.
rabdrake said,
February 22, 2009 at 6:15 am
Anger blocks the mind, galling reason.
Hi hetriepimarne:
Thanks for your feedback. If as you imply, you googled, Maria Desiderio, then you noticed that I am currently listed between these two posts.
The New York Times article “An Enigma Wrapped in Songs.” October 26, 1997.
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9F05E6DD143EF935A15753C1A961958260&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=all
and by American National Biography Online
http://www.anb.org/articles/18/18-03520.html
The Times article says in part “Her mother, Gilda Nigro, in a sad foreshadowing, died of ovarian cancer at 49. And she quietly moved into a lesbian social world, meeting Ms. Desiderio in 1977.”
The American National Biography Online, echoes “Maria Desiderio, a Brooklyn-born painter whom Nyro met in 1977, was her companion until Nyro’s death on 8 April 1997 at their home in Danbury, Connecticut. Like her mother, Nyro died of ovarian cancer at age forty-nine.”
Neither claim attributes a source for the 1977 meeting. The Times article does extensively quote Maria Desiderio, but not as to when they first met. Curiously, Maria is quoted about, and appears to have first hand knowledge of, the unraveling of the Nyro/Geffen relationship. If she didn’t know Laura Nyro before 1977, how is it she is quoted about events occurring in 1971?
Assuming arguendo that both women met in 1977, this does nothing to refute: that Laura and Maria began a flame relationship in 1967; that their relationship was renewed in 1971; and that it became a life partnership in the early 80s. Maybe, they reunited in 1977, at a party? What is certain is that Laura and Maria weren’t together then. The “Lesbian Tide” photo shows to whose hip Maria was joined to, from 1976 to 1979, Zoe Ananda.
Neither claim expressly states that this was their initial meeting. Equally authoritative sources, i.e. Kort et al., state that Maria was Laura’s first woman lover. None of their friends can state exactly when, where, and how they first met. Charlie Calello claimed that every song was about an event in her life, Eli was a former boyfriend. If so, who cuddled in Mama’s garden?
To summarize, there is “Désiree,” the back cover of ELI, “Timer’ – Eli’s thirteenth confession,” “Emmie’ – Pop’s first lesbian love song” & “Roadnotes’…’Happy Birthday 30’s,” the two Charts’ versions of “Deserie/Desiree” (1957/1967, respectively), and the “Out & Proud” photo from Lesbian Tide.
LISTEN to “Désiree.”
denknee said,
February 22, 2009 at 7:48 am
Ooooohhhh…. you KNOW I would pipe in, Rabdrake. If we keep this up, people will think you and I are having an online affair. lol. But, if Michele Kort and none of Laura’s friends and associates can name when Ms’ Nyro and Desiderio met, what, prey tell, gives YOU the authority to provide a date?!? Thank goodness you didn’t write Laura’s biography. Obviously, you have an agenda, but no one was buying it. Please, I beg of you… if you must post online, please just state the facts and leave your delusions to fiction writing and leave the peaceful spirits of Laura and Maria alone, thank you.
rabdrake said,
February 22, 2009 at 8:38 am
Hi denknee: Hurts so good…. Virtual lovers we are; to us, Laura Nyro es una diosa. BTW Kathy Belge found a cool version of the 1928 Ma Rainey ditty “Prove It on Me Blues.” “I went out last night with a pile of my friends. They must’ve been women cause I don’t like no men.”
http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/herstory/p/MaRainey.htm?nl=1
You know why! I’m smitten by this ghostly couple. The Logo channel seduced me with the juxtaposed playing of “Désiree” and “It’s gonna Take a Miracle” from the flick “A Home At the End of the World.” Désiree is the reason. You won’t even discuss it. No one will.
Google posted the Eli Back cover all over the image pages of Laura and Maria. In May 2007, when I began my quest, only two “highly stylized” renderings were availble. (e.g. Laura Nyro popmatters by donny hathaway). Now the “Back Cover of ELI” is availble for all to, judge. The vinyl back cover is worth a thousand confessions.
In 1968, ELI was released. Prior to this, Maria had probably been staying a lot with Laura “Emmie, your Mama’s been a calling you.” What do I have to do, hit you over the head with a minor chord? Maria was 13 and Laura was 19. “So…let the wind blow Timer I like her song/ and if the song goes minor I won’t mind.” The virtual silence re: “Désiree” is deafening and reassuring. BFN
denknee said,
February 22, 2009 at 8:07 am
And one more thing (since I’m on a roll): Just because Maria is quoted as having knowledge about the unraveling between Laura and David Geffen doesn’t mean she (Maria) was there at the time. I’m sure Laura shared stories about her past with Maria (and vice versa). I happen to know that George Washington was the first president of the United States. It doesn’t mean, however, that I was around at the time, even if I am getting a little up in age, if you catch my drift….. (smile)
rabdrake said,
February 22, 2009 at 9:01 am
A cogent point. Perhaps over the 17 years, Maria learned about Nyro/Geffen through pillow talk. Now, who is speculating? My whole series of current replies have been highly precatory and not conclusory. But you keep forgetting or ignoring the fact that I have got the songs “Désiree,” “Timer,” and “Emmie.” Oh, I forgot you like the bowdlerized version of “Emmie.” No “…love my lovething, super ride inside my lovething” (The Confession) nor “oo whole stole Mama’s heart and cuddled in her garden? darlin Emmie, la la la, oo la la la, oo la la la, oo la la la” for you.
Again thanks.
Zoe said,
February 23, 2009 at 11:01 pm
oh my, so many opinions and almost none of them correct. I have no idea why I find myself answering – except I got this most unusual feeling that truths are lingering to be known. I am 60 now and when I die, most of the truths – about all of this will leave with me.
Once I blogged about Laura just to see how I felt ~ open to the possibility that it was something she would want me to do. I really am not sure.
I know exactly how they met. I was there.
Maria left me on Labor Day 1982 and moved in with Laura’s Grandfather on Long Island. Truth be told – when I found out about the affair – I asked Maria to leave. In 1986 they both invited me to the house they had rented in Amhurst where we had a blast and I was their closest friend (non-romantic) until they died.
Yes – that picture, from my autobiography – is Maria, our moms and me – we were out.
Without putting too fine a point on it ~ no biography on Laura was/is approved or factual. I will tell you that Laura herself, designed her original website. We did it together in her house in Danbury. She chose the colors, the fonts, the content. She was just beside herself about the big fansite. She asked the owner to take it down – he said he would and never did.
I was staying with her March & April 1997. I miss her every day. Please know this, Laura & Maria were soulmates ~ it was undeniable (even by me). Eventually, over the years I actually became closer to Laura but we were family.
Finally, I cannot resist saying, I am glad women still ask about her and her loves. When I hear her music piped in the market or on TV (like Alli McBeal) I just burst into tears. She was all that a heart could hold and Maria adored her.
Zoe
rabdrake said,
February 24, 2009 at 1:29 am
Hi Zoe:
Thank you for this beautiful tribute.
Tony S said,
August 8, 2009 at 6:33 am
I’m very late to the party here, but as longtime Laura nut, I like that her work and life are being so scrutinized.
However, one fact is left out of the discussion of “Emmie.” In Michele Kort’s book, on pages 60-61, Kort states journalist Ellen Sander says David Geffen told Sander the song was about her.
According to Sander: “When I asked Laura if that was true, she kind of looked down and said, ‘Yeah, it’s kind of a combination of you and someone else.’ But I think she added the ’someone else’ to take me off the hook.”
We should see if we can get all those unreleased early songs Kort mentions in her book released on a box set or something — along with the rare single version of “Stoney End.”
rabdrake said,
August 8, 2009 at 7:18 am
Hi Tony S:
Thanks for the feedback.
There are a number of my pieces on Emmie and Laura Nyro. The LGBT wikia article does expressly mention and cite the Ellen Sander claim.
http://lgbt.wikia.com/wiki/Emmie_%28Laura_Nyro_song%29.
Kort is so bi-phobic, when it comes to Laura’s early years and “Emmie” in particular, that you have to take her claims, in this area, with a grain of salt.
The fact that Laura said that it was Ellen and “someone else” was her way of tamping down the curiousity about Maria Desiderio, who was aged thirteen. Laura’s evasive admission to Ellen was the perfect foil.
But to you I say, get two Jews (or two Italians) to arguing, and you get three opinions.
DJ M said,
November 4, 2009 at 9:13 am
For approximately a decade Maria Desiderio was just a name handwritten on a batch of used records I bought from a gret store in central CT. In the late ’90s I was going to law school in CT, in my free time I would scour the state for used vinyl records. A favorite store was Integrity ‘n’ Music in Wethersfield. One day I walked in the store and the owner told me that he had just bought a collection of records, some of which he thought might interest me. In passing, he happened to mention that the collection came from a woman who was Laura Nyro’s roommate. I have to admit, at the time I was not too familiar with Laura Nyro, but the story was unusual enough to stick in my memory all of these years. Almost all of the records have Maria’s name handwritten on the jackets. I bought about 5-6 LPs that day. The biggest coup was filling in the gaps in my Alice Coltrane collection; Maria had almost every album recorded by Alice Coltrane, even the rarest and hardest to find titles. I also purchased records by Joe Henderson & Pharoah Sanders from her collection. The only drawback is that the records were pretty well worn, Maria and friends must have really played these records often and hard. The jacket for “Universal Consciousness” is only held together by some unsightly duct tape.
All this time I assumed that the story the record store owner told me was just an urban myth. But today in AZ, I found a used copy of Laura Nyro’s CD “Season of Lights- Complete Version,” read the entry on Laura on Wiki, and was reminded of Maria’s name on my LPs and google led me here. Thanks so much to rabdrake’s blog and all of the information about Maria. I treasure these albums first of all for the amazing music, but even more so now that I know that the story I’ve hung on to for so long is not a myth. Now, for me, Maria Desiderio is not just a name but a creative person with her own history that I look forward to learning more about.